Hoop Rides and Name Brands...

Whatever you want to call them-  hoop rides, niggermobiles, coonzoomers, pieces of shit, you see them all over the place. They are sitting next to you at the stop light with the bass cranked and rattling every body panel on their car and yours too for that matter.

What I don't understand is the fad of making your car look like a rolling billboard on 24" chrome wheels. This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen and I've seen alot of stupid stuff.

Let's take a quick gander at some of these creations...

They don't call in McDumpsters for no reason.......

Lawdy lawdy, I'ze gots me a Newpote cah, yes sah!

"U know my shit fresh" I don't want to know and at least you have the common sense to show what you are on the door- a douche!

Nine Inch Nailsonthechalkboard- aka Pure Shit!

I have to admit I like Nine Inch Nails.  Know what I like best about Nine Inch Nails? When the song is over.

I also have to admit I have seen them in concert before, one time only. If there was a second time I wouldn't be around to type this diatribe out as I would've ended my suffering on the spot. Reason I saw NIN was only because Jane's Addiction was playing the same show and being a long time fan of Jane's Addiction this made the trip worth it. I stood thru the first couple of songs in the Nine Inch Nailsonthechalkboard set and finally had to get the hell out and away from the stage. I had never heard such shitty music in a live venue before. I could've sworn Trent Reznor was crying up his sleeve at a few points. It was so bad even with me diverting all my attention to smoking a cig and talking up this dame I had met on the mezzanine, the psychological warfare known as Nine Inch Nails was screwing with my ability to think rationally.

SO why does Nine Inch Nails suck so bad? Well there's many reasons and I surely could use all the bandwidth of this blog on this single subject, but I'm not going to. I'll merely hit the high points.

First of all, they are not Industrial Metal, they aren't even really industrial in my mind. They are mainstream over commercialized 'shit music' as they fit no other description. Other bands that could be grouped here are Nickelback, Lady Gaga, etc but those are beyond the scope of this rant.

Trent Reznor is a steroid poppin emo shitskin. He went from a little crybaby bitch to a steroid fueled crybaby bitch. The build is different, but he's still the same.

Every Nine Inch Nail fan I've ever seen has been one or more of the following- Computer geek, Nerd, Emo trash, goth, coalburners. And goth wannabe. There's a huge majority of those!

The music is not original. I don't know what to call it, but it's not original. It's just a jumbled up mass of common bass chords & keyboard rhythms with some sound effects off a Pure Moods CD mixed in for effect.

I just wish they had taken the lead of their album called "The downward spiral" and made the downward spiral of the porcelain throne as you flush it all away with the rest of the shit the belongs in the sewers.

"Woe is me, I'm depressed and want to kill myself."- If I had to listen to your shitty music I'd feel the same way douchebag.

Facebook and the Ass Suckage thereof

 

Yep, there's that tired worn out cliche of a jpeg known as Calvin pissing on something. It's old news but so will Facebook in a few years, hopefully sooner.

Call me old fashioned and out of touch with Modern Times- but Facebook is the work of the devil. Not only does the CIA and the government have their hands in the many pies of Facebook, but so do advertisers and other companies of ill repute.

Gimme a fucking break already, do we really want to know that your dog shit on the living room carpet or that you are at some store? Who cares? Is it really bragging rights that you are at the mall getting ass raped by paying inflated prices for punk junk? (Besides me as it gives a good conduit for something to bitch about, as if I needed help in that department.) I suppose I could scour the google machine and find some real gems of facebook status updates but that's too much like work and I don't want to deprive you of something to do on a rainy day.

Then you have those stupid ass games like Farmtown, Malt Shop Memories, and any other ones I could care less about. That's more shit to piss away your time on when you could be doing something in real life.

As one would expect from a blog like this- Facebook sucks and unlike Calvin above, I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

Just for fun, I have created some status updates that one would be likely to see on the farcebook. 

"Like OMG! I totally got these bracelets for $500! I can be cool for at least a week before the fad changes"

"I'm at Catfish Plantation eating a roasted almond chicken vinagrette with poached peas and a caramel frappe latte expressway. Delicious!"

"Are you fucking kidding me? My dog just shit on the living room floor, FML!"

"Scored big! I was first in line for Nine Inch Nails tickets! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" 

"Went to K-Mart on 400 Oak Street, now off to get pancakes."


These quotes are hypothetical, but typical of what you will see over there.