Being in the old car hobby for 99% of my lifetime, one of the stupidest god damn things I've seen is this Rockabilly/greaser/wop look alike fad. I see these stupid sonsa bitches at the car shows, treating the car show like it's a fucking runway fashion show on Madison Ave. in New York City. This is almost as bad as the assholes who dressup like a 1940s gas station attendant complete with 8 pointed cap and do nothing but wander around the flea market without buying a damn thing.
Get over yourself you wanna be Marilyn Monroe, you can't hide that pouch of cottage cheese around your waist nor can you hide the fact your ass looks like 50 lbs of chewed up bubblegum- same with the chinese lettering inked on the back of your neck- that's not vintage! the inkage is a leftover from the previous fad she was into I reckon.
It's all of a sudden cool for women to look like a tattooed Donna Reed and the guys to look like an even douchier version of the Fonz.
It's mandatory to get a 1954 Plymouth Savoy or some other equally obscure/worthless 4dr sedan and put red rims with a black primered body and mexican blanket upholstery. This right here gives those of us who drove cars in black primer years before this horseshit started a bad name by lumping us into the same crowd as the vitalis hair and white tshirt crowd.
Thank Xenu the rat rod fad is starting to die off as the rat rod BS helped incubate the rockabilly, when this rockabilly clusterfuck dies I'm having a kegger just so I can drink enough beer to saturate the rockabilly grave with piss. Twice. Or more.
Addendum- Add this Fawning over Bettie Page and the retro furniture fad. Nevermind, that's fodder for another wonderful and thought provoking post here at the thingsatrandomblog.
------No photo is going to be posted as I have trouble finding one that's even more lame than the next. They all equally suck. If I posted a photo some other rockabilly girl would start crying that she didn't get picked and in the process her makeup that she applied with a drywall trowel would start running. We simply can not allow that to happen here.----------
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Got the thirst for a beer standing in the non ferrous line.
I haul a fair amount of scrap metals as a sideline operation to my 2 primary jobs.
If you've ever made a trip to the scrap metal yard you know there's an eclectic mix of people from all walks of life- fine upstanding citizens such as myself all the way down to the hobo living in the woods.
The other day I hauled a load of non ferrous metals to my local preferred yard, After offloading my scrap transporting vehicle, I got in the line to the scale and noticed some douchebag with a brass mailbox. That's it. And the fucking thing was sheet brass with aluminum rivets!
During the course of conversation Mailbox boy stated he figured the box would bring about $10 and that was OK by him as he wanted some beer. I told him he'd be lucky to get $3 for the piece of shit to which he disagreed. Rule #1 never argue with a seasoned scrapper aka metal recycler if you're one of these politically correct stiffnecks. our hands are carefully calibrated scales able to detect with a few ounces what something will weigh. That comes only from experience and longevity in the business.
Back to the mailbox- he gets to the scale, the scale guy starts laughing and asks where the rest of his load is. "That's all I got and it was hard to carry that on my bike" was dumbasses reply.
Long story short Einstein chimpsout because the mailbox only brought $1.75. Serves his ass right.
So what does this have to with my rant blog? Simple. I was pressed for time and these fucking wannabe's are always in my way when I go to the non ferrous side of the yard. I think scrapyards aka metal recyclers should have two lines, one for us seasoned scrappers who bring in an average of 3-4 tons a month and another for dipshits with only one or two things. A fair comparison would be the express lane and the normal checkout lanes at your local grocerterias.
If you've ever made a trip to the scrap metal yard you know there's an eclectic mix of people from all walks of life- fine upstanding citizens such as myself all the way down to the hobo living in the woods.
The other day I hauled a load of non ferrous metals to my local preferred yard, After offloading my scrap transporting vehicle, I got in the line to the scale and noticed some douchebag with a brass mailbox. That's it. And the fucking thing was sheet brass with aluminum rivets!
During the course of conversation Mailbox boy stated he figured the box would bring about $10 and that was OK by him as he wanted some beer. I told him he'd be lucky to get $3 for the piece of shit to which he disagreed. Rule #1 never argue with a seasoned scrapper aka metal recycler if you're one of these politically correct stiffnecks. our hands are carefully calibrated scales able to detect with a few ounces what something will weigh. That comes only from experience and longevity in the business.
Back to the mailbox- he gets to the scale, the scale guy starts laughing and asks where the rest of his load is. "That's all I got and it was hard to carry that on my bike" was dumbasses reply.
Long story short Einstein chimpsout because the mailbox only brought $1.75. Serves his ass right.
So what does this have to with my rant blog? Simple. I was pressed for time and these fucking wannabe's are always in my way when I go to the non ferrous side of the yard. I think scrapyards aka metal recyclers should have two lines, one for us seasoned scrappers who bring in an average of 3-4 tons a month and another for dipshits with only one or two things. A fair comparison would be the express lane and the normal checkout lanes at your local grocerterias.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Bookstore Parasites
I like to read. I read alot and have a rather large collection of books. Naturally I've been to the various shops selling books and have noticed one common trait with all the big box bookstores- there's alot of cheap mother fuckers in there.
The benefit of owning a book is that you can go back and read it many times, and consult it on a regular basis for research etc. Quality books are an investment that pays dividends from day one. However the parasites that you see in Books a Million or Borders(we'll get to that in a minute), make a god damn daytrip out of going to the bookstore. Why is that? Maybe they need a place to hide out away from the tax man or just have no life what so ever. Of course they could be broke and can only window shop. If the latter is the case, then why did you waste gas money to get there?
The last time I was in Barnes & Nobles I saw this rather shapely dame sitting on one of those leather couches with a huge stack of books on the other half of the couch. Being that she had dark hair and a large rack I decided to make some small talk with her in hopes of being able to sit between her & the stack of books. I inquired why she didn't just buy a few books, if she did I'd be more than happy to carry them out to her car and would even help her put them on her bookshelf at home if she so desired. She replied "I just come down here to read the books I want and then go home. Why buy something when you can use it for free in the store? She makes a good point and this led to her & I talking about Borders, as I suspect this is the very reason Borders is in financial dire straits.
I'm willing to bet if they took out all the couches and the yuppie coffee shop in all the bookstores, they'd sell a hell of a lot more merchandise and possibly could have avoided the money troubles.
So what happened to the dark haired minx? Turns out she's Jewish ad she didn't like the fact I'm Atheist.
The benefit of owning a book is that you can go back and read it many times, and consult it on a regular basis for research etc. Quality books are an investment that pays dividends from day one. However the parasites that you see in Books a Million or Borders(we'll get to that in a minute), make a god damn daytrip out of going to the bookstore. Why is that? Maybe they need a place to hide out away from the tax man or just have no life what so ever. Of course they could be broke and can only window shop. If the latter is the case, then why did you waste gas money to get there?
The last time I was in Barnes & Nobles I saw this rather shapely dame sitting on one of those leather couches with a huge stack of books on the other half of the couch. Being that she had dark hair and a large rack I decided to make some small talk with her in hopes of being able to sit between her & the stack of books. I inquired why she didn't just buy a few books, if she did I'd be more than happy to carry them out to her car and would even help her put them on her bookshelf at home if she so desired. She replied "I just come down here to read the books I want and then go home. Why buy something when you can use it for free in the store? She makes a good point and this led to her & I talking about Borders, as I suspect this is the very reason Borders is in financial dire straits.
I'm willing to bet if they took out all the couches and the yuppie coffee shop in all the bookstores, they'd sell a hell of a lot more merchandise and possibly could have avoided the money troubles.
So what happened to the dark haired minx? Turns out she's Jewish ad she didn't like the fact I'm Atheist.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
What I think of when I hear certain bands...
The common trait here is stuff that pisses me off or stuff that sucks. Either way this blog is my conduit to allow all 4 readers of this blog to see my opinions. Not that you care! LOL
This game is about bands that suck and the first thing that comes to mind broken into two parts, 'artiste' comments and then comments about the fans of such 'recording artists'.
Elvis Costello. Some fucking dork that moves his feet around like a pair of windshield wipers when he sings and always has on suits, dressed up like a Philadelphia Lawyer. Not only does he exude supreme arrogance, his music is bland and generic.
So what do I think of when I see this shitcan's photo? First of all- what a geek! I'm sure he's got enough money to where he can afford a comb & razor. The razor isn't for shaving.........
The fans- Usually yuppies, and possibly a few hipsters. Can't forget about the soccer moms either! Elvis Costello music is usually playing at the Whole Foods or the small independent coffee houses with such creative names as "Mocha House".
Nine Inch Nails. You knew damn good & well this bad would be on the list! I already did a post on Trent Reznor and his mirth of suckage so we'll just do impressions in this entry.
The Artist- Reznor is a steroid popping emo, married to his mail order bride. I don't know enough about the members of the band to make a quality statement. Thankfully.
The fans- You will see the pixelation of the graphic posted above, which appears to have some of Trent Reznor's jizz as the backdrop (pun intended) due to the fact he just so excited over this album. Like OMG! I purposely chose that album cover since it symbolizes the bond the band has with gamers and other computer nerds. Gamers, Computer Nerds, nerds in general are the primary listeners of NIN. Other fans consist of people who think it's cool to listen to Nine Inch Nails for no other reason than to be fan boys/girls, or because it's some of the more mainstream industrial music out there. I consider it Industrial- Industrial grade waste, call the EPA and get rid of all that is NIN and their pussy fans.
Avenged Sevenfold aka A7X
They have done more to ruin music than any other modern band. Well maybe they aren't that bad, but they still suck pretty bad. Of course every teenager rebelling against their parents listens to "A7X" the same way posers from my generation listened to NIN during a phase of rebellion because they said fuck & hole in every single song.
Their winged skull is a rip off from the hair metal band "Overkill" as they used something very very similar back when the fuckheads from "A7X" were still leaving butterscotch pudding colored runny shits in their Huggies.
The fans- This incident happened to your commentator at a bookstore a few years back. I was in the Boobs & Kanobles (the head cashier had an awesome rack that I'd like to have buried my face in) checking out the magazines. Upon picking out a Rod & Custom and Collectible Auto mags, I walked over to look for a copy of Metal Hammer. This kid about 19 is standing there looking for Tiger Beat or some such shit, he sees my Ministry shirt and proceeds to tell me "Those dudes are old, you should listen to something better" I told the scroungy little fuck- "You wouldn't know good music if it was playing in front of you. Avenged Sevenfold is a cookie cutter band that sounds no different than the others. Ministry has done more to pioneer a sound than your band of rejects." Of course he jumps up and says he is going to kick my ass and all that. I told him "Let me go pay for my stuff and I'll be outside waiting on you." I paid for my stuff and smoked 2 cigarettes waiting on him to come outside. He never showed.
Avenged Sevenfold fans are loud mouth assholes who write checks with their mouth that their ass can't cash.
AC/DC
The band- Generic Rock that has zero originality. If you can play 3 chords on a guitar or scream like a girl you too can be in AC/DC. AC/DC is a prime example if good marketing, otherwise they'd have never made it!
The fans- Usually bald overweight men crowding 60 yrs old. All are drinking light beer and having trouble getting around. Almost always wearing a jean jacket and beard. You can spot the same crowd at a ZZ Top gig.
We will continue with part 2 later......
This game is about bands that suck and the first thing that comes to mind broken into two parts, 'artiste' comments and then comments about the fans of such 'recording artists'.
Elvis Costello. Some fucking dork that moves his feet around like a pair of windshield wipers when he sings and always has on suits, dressed up like a Philadelphia Lawyer. Not only does he exude supreme arrogance, his music is bland and generic.
 |
| SO do you have any more cocaine or not? You better, I'm Elvis Costello! |
The fans- Usually yuppies, and possibly a few hipsters. Can't forget about the soccer moms either! Elvis Costello music is usually playing at the Whole Foods or the small independent coffee houses with such creative names as "Mocha House".
The Artist- Reznor is a steroid popping emo, married to his mail order bride. I don't know enough about the members of the band to make a quality statement. Thankfully.
The fans- You will see the pixelation of the graphic posted above, which appears to have some of Trent Reznor's jizz as the backdrop (pun intended) due to the fact he just so excited over this album. Like OMG! I purposely chose that album cover since it symbolizes the bond the band has with gamers and other computer nerds. Gamers, Computer Nerds, nerds in general are the primary listeners of NIN. Other fans consist of people who think it's cool to listen to Nine Inch Nails for no other reason than to be fan boys/girls, or because it's some of the more mainstream industrial music out there. I consider it Industrial- Industrial grade waste, call the EPA and get rid of all that is NIN and their pussy fans.
 | ||
| Typical Nine Inch Nails fan. |
They have done more to ruin music than any other modern band. Well maybe they aren't that bad, but they still suck pretty bad. Of course every teenager rebelling against their parents listens to "A7X" the same way posers from my generation listened to NIN during a phase of rebellion because they said fuck & hole in every single song.
Their winged skull is a rip off from the hair metal band "Overkill" as they used something very very similar back when the fuckheads from "A7X" were still leaving butterscotch pudding colored runny shits in their Huggies.
The fans- This incident happened to your commentator at a bookstore a few years back. I was in the Boobs & Kanobles (the head cashier had an awesome rack that I'd like to have buried my face in) checking out the magazines. Upon picking out a Rod & Custom and Collectible Auto mags, I walked over to look for a copy of Metal Hammer. This kid about 19 is standing there looking for Tiger Beat or some such shit, he sees my Ministry shirt and proceeds to tell me "Those dudes are old, you should listen to something better" I told the scroungy little fuck- "You wouldn't know good music if it was playing in front of you. Avenged Sevenfold is a cookie cutter band that sounds no different than the others. Ministry has done more to pioneer a sound than your band of rejects." Of course he jumps up and says he is going to kick my ass and all that. I told him "Let me go pay for my stuff and I'll be outside waiting on you." I paid for my stuff and smoked 2 cigarettes waiting on him to come outside. He never showed.
Avenged Sevenfold fans are loud mouth assholes who write checks with their mouth that their ass can't cash.
AC/DC
The band- Generic Rock that has zero originality. If you can play 3 chords on a guitar or scream like a girl you too can be in AC/DC. AC/DC is a prime example if good marketing, otherwise they'd have never made it!
The fans- Usually bald overweight men crowding 60 yrs old. All are drinking light beer and having trouble getting around. Almost always wearing a jean jacket and beard. You can spot the same crowd at a ZZ Top gig.
We will continue with part 2 later......
Friday, January 14, 2011
Hoop Rides and Name Brands...
Whatever you want to call them- hoop rides, niggermobiles, coonzoomers, pieces of shit, you see them all over the place. They are sitting next to you at the stop light with the bass cranked and rattling every body panel on their car and yours too for that matter.
What I don't understand is the fad of making your car look like a rolling billboard on 24" chrome wheels. This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen and I've seen alot of stupid stuff.
Let's take a quick gander at some of these creations...
What I don't understand is the fad of making your car look like a rolling billboard on 24" chrome wheels. This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen and I've seen alot of stupid stuff.
Let's take a quick gander at some of these creations...
 |
| They don't call in McDumpsters for no reason....... |
 |
| Lawdy lawdy, I'ze gots me a Newpote cah, yes sah! |
 |
| "U know my shit fresh" I don't want to know and at least you have the common sense to show what you are on the door- a douche! |
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Nine Inch Nailsonthechalkboard- aka Pure Shit!
I have to admit I like Nine Inch Nails. Know what I like best about Nine Inch Nails? When the song is over.
I also have to admit I have seen them in concert before, one time only. If there was a second time I wouldn't be around to type this diatribe out as I would've ended my suffering on the spot. Reason I saw NIN was only because Jane's Addiction was playing the same show and being a long time fan of Jane's Addiction this made the trip worth it. I stood thru the first couple of songs in the Nine Inch Nailsonthechalkboard set and finally had to get the hell out and away from the stage. I had never heard such shitty music in a live venue before. I could've sworn Trent Reznor was crying up his sleeve at a few points. It was so bad even with me diverting all my attention to smoking a cig and talking up this dame I had met on the mezzanine, the psychological warfare known as Nine Inch Nails was screwing with my ability to think rationally.
SO why does Nine Inch Nails suck so bad? Well there's many reasons and I surely could use all the bandwidth of this blog on this single subject, but I'm not going to. I'll merely hit the high points.
First of all, they are not Industrial Metal, they aren't even really industrial in my mind. They are mainstream over commercialized 'shit music' as they fit no other description. Other bands that could be grouped here are Nickelback, Lady Gaga, etc but those are beyond the scope of this rant.
Trent Reznor is a steroid poppin emo shitskin. He went from a little crybaby bitch to a steroid fueled crybaby bitch. The build is different, but he's still the same.
Every Nine Inch Nail fan I've ever seen has been one or more of the following- Computer geek, Nerd, Emo trash, goth, coalburners. And goth wannabe. There's a huge majority of those!
The music is not original. I don't know what to call it, but it's not original. It's just a jumbled up mass of common bass chords & keyboard rhythms with some sound effects off a Pure Moods CD mixed in for effect.
I just wish they had taken the lead of their album called "The downward spiral" and made the downward spiral of the porcelain throne as you flush it all away with the rest of the shit the belongs in the sewers.
I also have to admit I have seen them in concert before, one time only. If there was a second time I wouldn't be around to type this diatribe out as I would've ended my suffering on the spot. Reason I saw NIN was only because Jane's Addiction was playing the same show and being a long time fan of Jane's Addiction this made the trip worth it. I stood thru the first couple of songs in the Nine Inch Nailsonthechalkboard set and finally had to get the hell out and away from the stage. I had never heard such shitty music in a live venue before. I could've sworn Trent Reznor was crying up his sleeve at a few points. It was so bad even with me diverting all my attention to smoking a cig and talking up this dame I had met on the mezzanine, the psychological warfare known as Nine Inch Nails was screwing with my ability to think rationally.
SO why does Nine Inch Nails suck so bad? Well there's many reasons and I surely could use all the bandwidth of this blog on this single subject, but I'm not going to. I'll merely hit the high points.
First of all, they are not Industrial Metal, they aren't even really industrial in my mind. They are mainstream over commercialized 'shit music' as they fit no other description. Other bands that could be grouped here are Nickelback, Lady Gaga, etc but those are beyond the scope of this rant.
Trent Reznor is a steroid poppin emo shitskin. He went from a little crybaby bitch to a steroid fueled crybaby bitch. The build is different, but he's still the same.
Every Nine Inch Nail fan I've ever seen has been one or more of the following- Computer geek, Nerd, Emo trash, goth, coalburners. And goth wannabe. There's a huge majority of those!
The music is not original. I don't know what to call it, but it's not original. It's just a jumbled up mass of common bass chords & keyboard rhythms with some sound effects off a Pure Moods CD mixed in for effect.
I just wish they had taken the lead of their album called "The downward spiral" and made the downward spiral of the porcelain throne as you flush it all away with the rest of the shit the belongs in the sewers.
 |
| "Woe is me, I'm depressed and want to kill myself."- If I had to listen to your shitty music I'd feel the same way douchebag. |
Facebook and the Ass Suckage thereof
Yep, there's that tired worn out cliche of a jpeg known as Calvin pissing on something. It's old news but so will Facebook in a few years, hopefully sooner.
Call me old fashioned and out of touch with Modern Times- but Facebook is the work of the devil. Not only does the CIA and the government have their hands in the many pies of Facebook, but so do advertisers and other companies of ill repute.
Gimme a fucking break already, do we really want to know that your dog shit on the living room carpet or that you are at some store? Who cares? Is it really bragging rights that you are at the mall getting ass raped by paying inflated prices for punk junk? (Besides me as it gives a good conduit for something to bitch about, as if I needed help in that department.) I suppose I could scour the google machine and find some real gems of facebook status updates but that's too much like work and I don't want to deprive you of something to do on a rainy day.
Then you have those stupid ass games like Farmtown, Malt Shop Memories, and any other ones I could care less about. That's more shit to piss away your time on when you could be doing something in real life.
As one would expect from a blog like this- Facebook sucks and unlike Calvin above, I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.
Just for fun, I have created some status updates that one would be likely to see on the farcebook.
"Like OMG! I totally got these bracelets for $500! I can be cool for at least a week before the fad changes"
"I'm at Catfish Plantation eating a roasted almond chicken vinagrette with poached peas and a caramel frappe latte expressway. Delicious!""Are you fucking kidding me? My dog just shit on the living room floor, FML!"
"Scored big! I was first in line for Nine Inch Nails tickets! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"Went to K-Mart on 400 Oak Street, now off to get pancakes."
These quotes are hypothetical, but typical of what you will see over there.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)